I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize