When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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