Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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