my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize