If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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