So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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