My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize