You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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