btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize