it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My orgasm happened in two different decades
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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