He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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