real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
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You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
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I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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