What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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