i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize