smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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