I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Rumble strips road head = magical
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize