Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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