remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize