I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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