oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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