naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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