youre lurking in front of me
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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