just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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