So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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