The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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