either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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