He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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