Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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