Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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