I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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