those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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