it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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