Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize