This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
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They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
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He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize