Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize