I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize