slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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