After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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