quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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