how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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