i think i scared a bird with my dick
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize