I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm getting married
To pizza
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize