now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize