you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
it was like eating out sand paper
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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