I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize