Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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