Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize