even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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