I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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