OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize